With results days looming and the inevitable back to school countdown commencing, it seems somewhat topical to consider learning. Anyone who knows me well (or has delved into my blog), will know I hold academia firmly in my heart, as well as, and perhaps more so, than my head. Education is power above and beyond anything else, and I really do believe that. Education is opportunity and chance and hope – the greatest source of all three. However, it’s only as I’ve gotten older (yee olde and wise fellow that I now am…at the tender age of 22), that I’ve realised there are some gaping holes in my knowledge. Some of these holes configure in the shape of “real life conundrums and the trials and tribulations of being an Adult with a capital A”, whilst others expose rather cavernous craters in my so-called “general knowledge”. It is, however, the more generic, “how to live with yourself” holes that appear to be the deepest. If everything we know has, at some point, been taught to us (or perhaps self-taught, but that is often by example) what about the things people just assume we already know…the things we’re preconditioned to do: the things we’re never taught? Here are just a handful of things I wish I'd been taught...

1. Firstly, and not particularly indicative of the kind of life I want to lead but I’m all about the knowledge accumulation: I wish I’d been taught to play Monopoly. My parents are not board game people. This is a sad fact I have come to accept after many a Christmas Day groan in response to my “shall we play a game?!” (it was solidified the year my mum gave me a “pocket book of Christmas games for one”. That said, I have successfully played children’s Monopoly (don’t want anyone thinking I have missed out on a hugeeeee chunk of development). I have, actually, attempted to play adult Monopoly (I’ve even had a go at Star Wars Monopoly). It’s just, I feel I was somewhat “cheated” on the rule front, and, as my Monopoly playing was often both sporadic and sprung upon me, I never really learnt said dos and don’ts for myself.

2. Perhaps one of my learning slip-ups comes down to the fact I wanted to learn well and I wanted to learn the best. I wanted to learn right, so I stuck to what I was taught like an annoying piece of fluff. When my parents taught me the word “sorry,” I expelled it with Tourette like frequency and with minimal brainwork: I was always sorry. So, I wish I’d been taught how NOT to apologise. I wish I’d been taught that I’m not always the one who needs to apologise. I wish I’d been taught that I did not have to stick so closely to the word “sorry,” that my very presence became an apology. I wish I’d been taught that sometimes, just sometimes, I deserve an apology.

3. As much as I greatly value my maths and chemistry lessons of days gone by, I wish I’d been taught the value of art and hobbies that weren’t academic. I wish I had not been squashed solely into essays and equations. I wish I’d been taught that I could do physics AND drama (I actually did, but doing so was questioned and one of those two was frowned upon considerably more than the other – it seemed that I could calculate acceleration, only if I avoided the scripts that favoured words to numbers and characters whose hands held me back. I met no greater force than the resistance of others).  

4. I wish I’d been taught to travel. Admittedly, in fleeting conversations, I was told that my town was small and there was a whole world beyond the school fence, but I wish it had seemed more real. I wish I was taught that travelling is doable. I wish I hadn’t been taught that travelling was “too expensive,” or “not going to get me a job that earns money". I wish I’d been taught to look into ways to make travelling cheaper…ways to find “safe” jobs abroad. I wish I hadn’t been taught that as a girl, "travelling was too dangerous". I wish I’d been taught that, as an 18, 19, 22 year old, jobs would still be there when I came back.

5. Sometimes I really question my ability to adult. I am not a very good adult. I do not like phone calls – making or receiving. And I really, really do not like banks. I wish I’d been taught about banks and ISAs and interest and tax and VAT and arrrghhh. I wish I’d had a little bit more guidance in adulting. I wish I knew why a current account was better than X and Y, and why I should go to one bank and not another. I wish I knew how to be more adulting-savvy.

6. Self-love and self-care. I'm not sure to what extent this can be taught, but the older I get, the more important it seems to be. At the end of the day, we're all we have. Perhaps, learning to be enough for ourselves is both the greatest gift and the greatest lesson we'll ever receive. 

7. As far as trains are concerned, you stop being a child at 16. What’s that I hear you cry? Oh yes, I know almost all other things consider you a child until you turn 18 and are then, indeed, “an adult”, but no. As far as the train companies are concerned, once you hit the age of 16 you quite clearly magically earn money and take up more space and thus, must pay for an adult fare. This, my friends, is the harsh reality of growing up.

8. Life is scary, but you will be okay. There’s a lot of doom and gloom out there. I’m a pretty fearful/anxious person (hello, my own mobile ringing is often paralysing). Sometimes, I really wish someone could have taught me to believe, or at least rationalise, that 99.8% of the time: It. Will. Be. Okay. And of course, fearful little me would have piped straight back with, “but what about that 0.2%”, to which, I wish I’d just been taught: 0.2% is actually a very small percentage. To live in fear is actually much more terrifying.

9. I wish I’d been taught that some people will actively dislike you for no reason at all. I wish I’d been taught that this is okay: you will not be with these people forever. I wish I’d been taught not to waste too much time trying to make these people like you.

10. I wish I’d been taught how to use a sewing machine. Just imagine all the bunting I'd have made by now; it would seem I've been denied a bunting world and this is just tragic...

11. In a world where some people are very loud and very extroverted, I wish I’d been taught, at a younger age, that being an introvert is not a “bad thing”. That said, I wish I’d been taught that just because I am perhaps somewhat quieter, I too am allowed to talk. I wish I’d been taught that I am not here solely to listen.

12. Moles and badgers are not the same size. This, right here, is a classic example of assumed knowledge…I clearly missed out on being taught that moles are, in fact, quite small.